Romantically Cliché
by The Beached Pirate
Summary: Why is it that people always confess their love for someone right before they die? Zoro and Nami on sharing, books, and romantics.


Well, this is my first shot at a One Piece fan fiction. It's nothing much, but hopefully it'll be appreciated. I'm a big one for drabbles, so my profile will be littered with them (eventually). :)

**Title: **_Romantically Cliché  
_**Author: **Red Moon Rizing  
**Category: **One Piece  
**Rating**: PG (K+)  
**Warnings: **Zoro's mouth  
**Parings: **Vaguely hinted ZoroxNami  
**Summary: **Why is it that people always confess their love for someone right before they die?  
**Word Count: **2,687  
**Disclaimer: **One Piece and it's characters are property of Eiichirō Oda.

* * *

By nature, Zoro was a loner.

For most of his twenty years, he had spent his time in comfortable and relatively peaceful solitude, living true to "if you don't bother me, then I won't bother you." But then, you would have to define peaceful and comfortable. For Roronoa Zoro, swordsman extraordinaire and expert at Santōryū fighting style, both terms took on a whole different meaning than what was widely accepted.

For him, comfort wasn't a matter of having lush chairs or pillows to lounge on all day during his frequent naps (though, he would openly admit that it would be a nice deviation from sleeping in a constantly swaying hammock or on deck). During his times of leisure, comfort was being left alone. Plain and simple. Nothing fancy, no special requests. Just to be left to his own devices unless a life-threatening emergency was at hand. He was even comfortable fighting, because in all honesty, he enjoyed the pain that the adrenaline didn't block out. What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger.

Peace was another funny one with him. Peace wasn't a "happy place," it wasn't finding that special someone, it wasn't having the perfect home in the perfect place, it wasn't obtaining nirvana. For Zoro, peace was comfort. Peace was being left alone.

So, to achieve the goal of being left alone, he took to heart the law of equal and opposite reactions. The way he saw it, if he pestered someone, then somewhere down the line, another person would pester him. So, as an added precaution on top of the fact that he had already told everyone on the Going Merry not to bother him, he left his crewmates alone and gave them all a wide berth.

But unfortunately for Zoro, if there were ever such a thing as an equilibrium for pestering, it didn't exist on that ship.

Even before he had woken up, the strings of his remaining sanity were being plucked, one by one. Before dawn, he had been awoken by the eerie creaking of wood above his head from up on deck, followed by the sound of said wood splintering and Luffy crashing through the deck and right into Zoro's hammock. And, as if that hadn't been enough, the ropes attaching his hammock to the ceiling came loose as small portion of the deck caved in and both he and his Captain went plummeting the three feet into Usopp's hammock, which broke as well.

He had attained numerous bruises from both Luffy, who thought the entire deck and mast had come apart and down into their quarters, and from Usopp, who thought the sky was falling that that the world was practically coming to an end. On top of a fist to the face, three elbows into his ribcage, and near suffocation from being wrapped up in the two hammocks like an egg roll, he had received a rather painful knee to the groin, and though seething, could never catch the perpetrator (he suspected it was Usopp, who had fled shortly after it had happened).

After disentangling himself from a mess of rubber limbs, wood, rope, and hammocks, a seething swordsman and his perpetually jubilant captain had trudged up onto the deck to inspect the damage. The crew finally came to the conclusion that it had been some weak boards, and had bribed Zoro, being the muscle of the group, to fix it by removing some of the money from his growing financial debt to Nami.

They had docked just as the sun was rising over the horizon and, after about an hour of bartering in town for supplies, they were ready to leave. So as Zoro hammered away at the newer, and hopefully studier, planks, the anchor was raised and they set off. It was summer, and not a cloud in the sky, and feeling the sun beating down on his back wasn't the most pleasant thing in the world. Needless to say, he wasn't in a very good mood at that point.

After finishing the task, he stalked into the kitchen and, not wanting to have to fight Sanji for a meal, decided to grab whatever non-perishable food items he could find. Settling for a small loaf of bread and a bottle of alcohol, he made his way on deck and to the spot of the ship that had been unofficially claimed as his. He would rest there every day for a nap, and everyone knew it, but he had never come out and marked his territory officially. He never thought it would be a problem.

But today it was.

Because when he rounded the corner, he didn't see a vacant spot like he always did. He saw Nami, perched there reading a book like she owned the whole ship. _She probably thinks she does_, he thought disdainfully, glowering down at her and clearing his throat to gain her attention. When she looked up at him…oh boy, she had the most self-satisfied smirk on her face, and it took almost all his strength to keep from going ballistic. _That sneaky little…she did this on purpose!_

"Can I help you?" she replaced the smirk with an innocent smile as she spoke, though the mischievous glint was still present in her eyes.

"Move."

"Excuse me?"

"You're in my spot," he growled, pointing at the deck space she was occupying with his free hand. "Move."

"I didn't know that you owned this spot," she replied pointedly, allowing the smirk that made the swordsman's skin crawl work its way back onto her face. "That is what you're insinuating, isn't it, Zoro?"

Snarling and glaring down at her, hoping the intensity of his gaze would cause her to spontaneously combust, he fought back the urge to forcibly move her himself. But, as appealing as that seemed, he would then have to deal with that ridiculous cook, and though he was quite confident that he could take him on easily, he was already in a sour mood and didn't feel like having to exert any more energy than he had already. And it was taking a lot of energy to deal with this insufferable woman.

"In case you haven't noticed, I'm pretty pissed off already, so do the both of us a favor and _move_."

Nami shook her head, smiling to herself and going back to her book. "Sorry. If you want to sit here, you'll have to share for a change."

Zoro's eyes narrowed noticeably. "Share?" he asked incredulously, spitting the word out as stared at her. This sharing concept wasn't one he was particularly familiar, nor comfortable with. To think, this stuck up woman expected him, _Roronoa Zoro_, lone wolf, to share a square meter of deck space. That would involve sitting close to her. Something he wasn't going to do with the mood he was in.

Scoffing gruffly, Zoro dropped down to the ground and made himself comfortable, roughly tearing off a piece of bread and shoving it into his mouth, chewing angrily. That infuriating, egotistical, snooty, stuck up…his mind trailed off, glancing over at her sitting some three feet away, reading a book with a big smile on her face. Huffing, he looked away content with surrounding himself with his seething aura, until he heard a giggle.

She was _laughing_ at him! That miserable…turning to face her, he shouted, "And just what the _hell_ is so funny?"

She looked at him, a look of mild surprise on her face before she replied, "Oh, not you. This book I'm reading."

Zoro decided he would tempt fate and push the equilibrium a bit. "Chick book?"

"A what?"

"A chick book," he answered as-a-matter-of-factly through a mouthful of ale and bread. "Y'know, those sappy romance novels that all the girls gush over."

"Excuse me, Mister Swordsman," she snapped back, holding the book away as if anticipating him making a grab for it. "This happens to be fine literature! It's resourceful, funny, heartfelt, touching, has strong moral values-"

Apparently, someone somewhere had it in for him. Waving his hand and finishing the last few drops of alcohol, he shut his eyes firmly as if that would make her cease. "Yeah, blah, blah. Sorry I said anything."

"What crawled up your butt and died?"

"Life," he grunted, leaning back against the railing and munching on his bread. Two bites later, he caught Nami inspecting him yet again. "What?"

"You have crumbs all over yourself. You're such a messy eater." She made a move to wipe the bits of bread off of his shirtfront, which he evaded with another wave of his hand.

"Can't you just leave me in peace?" he barked, turning his torso away from her.

"Maybe if you actually took care of yourself."

"I can take perfectly good care of myself."

"That's debatable," she went back to reading her book, only about half a foot away from him now, before asking, "Can I have some bread?"

"Go get your own." Didn't even miss a beat.

"But the kitchen's all the way across the ship. And below deck!"

"You'll get exercise. I'm doing you a favor."

Eyes narrowing at the swordsman, she made a lunge for the bread, which he pulled away at the last second. Grabbing onto his shoulder and reaching over his head, she nearly got the prize she had sought after, but Zoro moved it away yet again, using his free arm to keep her at bay.

"Dammit, woman!" he shouted as she tried to climb over his body, his forearm the only thing keeping her from landing practically on top of him. Seeing her book lying on the deck, he ducked under her and snatched it up as a bargaining chip. The shoulder supporting her gone, Nami lost balance and fell onto Zoro's back, knocking the breath out of his lungs and the bread out of his hands. Lunging, she grabbed it and stepped away, putting a hand on the railing just as he rose.

Zoro growled, wiping the grime from the deck off of his shirt and holding his free hand out. "Give me the bread."

"Not until you give me my book."

Zoro's eye twitched. "I can't trust you! You're a thief!"

"You stole my book first!"

"You made a go for my food!"

She scoffed, rolling her eyes. "What is it with men and food?"

"What is it with women and chick books?"

"I'll eat this if you don't give me my book."

"I'll throw this overboard." _Take the bait…_

"I'll tell Sanji." _Crap._

"I'm not scared of him. You know that."

"No, but you're lazy and in one of your testosterone-fueled moods, so I know you don't want to deal with him." She had the most triumphant smirk on her face, and it made him nearly go nuts.

Exhaling gruffly, he held out the book and his free hand. "Same time. On three we let go."

Watching him carefully, she put the loaf of bread in his hand and wrapped her fingers around the spine of the book as he began to count up from one. Upon three, both parties took a large step backwards, their rightful possessions in their hands. Grunting, Zoro shoved the rest of the bread into his mouth as a precaution and watched as she settled back in her original spot.

Placing himself a good distance away from her, Zoro dropped down onto the deck. Shutting his eyes, he put his hands behind his head and attempted to go to sleep. For once that day, the Going Merry seemed to be quiet. Letting his body give way to fatigue, the swordsman thought, maybe, just maybe, there was a God out there somewhere who had heard his prayers for quiet solitude.

Five minutes, five glorious minutes of nothing but the wind breezing through the sails and the water lapping gently at the ship's hull, and Zoro's acute hearing picked up something he hadn't heard in just about forever.

A sniffle.

Not a sick sniffle, like having a head cold, but a quick, shuddering, boo-hoo-I'm-crying sniffle. _Just the wind_, Zoro told himself, keeping his eyes shut in spite of that little voice in the back of his mind that urged his curious side to peek. One minute later, two more sniffles. Biting back a string of profanities, he decided to screw the fictional equilibrium and crack open an eye.

He searched for all of one second before seeing Nami, still reading that damned book, with watery eyes and biting her bottom lip. _What in the hell...?_ What could she possibly have to cry about? Because he wouldn't give her some bread? That would be so out of character, he would have to assume that he was dreaming and just not pay it any mind. Cursing himself, he propped himself up on his side with his forearm and, facing her, asked, "What the hell is wrong _now_?"

He didn't have time to dodge the book that came flying at his face.

Feeling yet another growl build up in his throat, he caught the book before it clattered to the deck and let his eyes stray to the page Nami had been reading. Skimming over the words, he caught the part that must have elicited the last two sniffles from the navigator and frowned. _Girls and their emotions…_

"Nami, it's just a book," he held the novel out halfway to her. "Besides, the guy was an idiot. He told the girl that he loved her the minute before he kicked the bucket, so now she's left crying about all these 'what-if's' and regrets."

"Shut up," the retorted, snatching her book back.

"Why is it that people always confess their love for someone right before they die?"

"Because how else will the other person know, stupid?"

_Saucy little son of a- _"So dumping all that on them at the last minute is better? They're already dealing with the loss, now they have to deal with the unknown bullshit. They're better off not knowing."

"It's romantic and fitting, Zoro, but _you _wouldn't know much about that."

_I am going to strangle that bi- _"It's cliché and stupid, and as a girl you should know _all_ about that."

"So if you were to be dying and the person you loved was with you, but you'd never told her, or him," she added, watching his eyes twitch, "that you loved them, you wouldn't do it?"

_Snap her in ha-_ "Damn right."

"You, Roronoa Zoro, are the least sensitive, least romantic, and least compassionate person I have ever met in my life. You'd take something like that with you to your grave?"

_She has a hell of a lot of nerve- _"Absolutely."

"When are you going to tell them?"

_Nosy ass- _"When I'm good and ready to."

A slight pause. "So there _is _someone you love?"

_Prissy witc- _"Wouldn't you like to know."

"I don't particularly care about your deprived personal life."

_Why the hell does she even talk to me? _Rolling onto his back, he shut his eyes and sighed, feeling a smirk playing on his face. Maybe one day he'd swallow his pride and spill his guts. Maybe one day he'd take everything Sanji had said about treating women properly into consideration. Maybe one day he'd allow the cold barrier he'd spent years building around his heart to melt some. Maybe one day he'd try being a little more sensitive, a little more romantic, and a little more compassionate.

"Zoro?"

_Maybe one day…_

"Hmm?"

_Maybe..._

"You really should've bathed after fixing the deck, because you smell horrible."

_But no way in hell will it be today._


End file.
